No eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived,
what God has prepared for those who love Him. 1 Corinthians 2:9
20 April 2014
So you asked me last night, "What is Heaven?" I know you like to debate, and the science-minded side of you wants to challenge and question, but someone with true Faith doesn't need to do those things, at least when it comes to what you believe.
I believe that Heaven is where we will find eternal peace and an end to all suffering. It's where we will reunite with those that have gone before us. Heaven is where we will meet Jesus face-to-face.
There is a Christian music song called 'I Can Only Imagine' by MercyMe which does as much justice as I can to sum up how I feel about Heaven. Give it a listen.
That song has always been a favorite of mine but it became even more meaningful the day after Scott's funeral. I was running errands before going to Ohio the next day and that song came on the radio. I started singing along as I always do and then I drove into a brick wall, metaphorically speaking.
It hit me that Scott is LIVING that song. He is in Heaven! It was the first time since his death, the first time in my life, actually, that I felt true, unadulterated Peace. A Peace like none I've ever felt before and a Peace that I haven't felt since. But it was enough for me to feel that true Peace, even just that one time. I can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that Scott is okay and I will see him again. That one moment of Peace beyond understanding has continued to sustain me.
My Faith and my belief in Heaven are the only things that get me through the day most days - the only things that make the pain bearable and less suffocating. My Faith allows me to breathe in-and-out every day and to know that, no matter what happens, Jesus is with me. If He can see me through losing half of myself, I believe that He will see me through everything else.
My Faith was tested with Scott's death. Many would hate God after something like that, lash out in anger, but I turned toward God, not away, and it was a blessing. It showed me that I have a conviction that I didn't know was there. Christians believe that our faithfulness on Earth will be rewarded in Heaven. I'm one of the lucky ones because my Faith has already been rewarded through the gift of a Hope that will not falter.
I listen to Christian music not for the arrangements or the style but for the calm that it brings me at times when I feel bereft beyond words. It gives me the encouragement I need to keep moving forward. I get what I call "Scott Signs," when I hear 'I Can Only Imagine' four times in one day - when I haven't heard it in a week - or, at that exact moment when I'm thinking of Scott and I'm overcome with grief, a song comes on that shows me he is with me.
Before, I would drink so that I didn't have to feel. Now that I'm sober; I don't have alcohol to make the pain go away so, I turn to Jesus. My Faith reminds me that there is a greater purpose to this life and that things happen for a reason. Scott died for a reason. If I didn't have Faith I don't know where I'd be right now. No sense can be made of Scott's death so I'm grateful beyond words that I have Faith in God to fall back on because I'd literally go insane without it.
I've always been a Christian, always had Faith, but for the first time in my life I'm actually RELYING on that Faith. I'm putting all my trust in that Faith. I actually understand what it means to be a follower of Christ. I don't need to challenge or question my Faith because it has given me Peace.
April 1st, my first day of sobriety, I was driving to the train, listening to KLOVE. There was a person on the radio who wanted to give his life to Christ and, with a prayer, turned his life over to God. I said the prayer, too, and it gave new meaning to "Let go, let God." I'm no longer plagued by Worry. I believe that I'm on the path to realizing my calling in life. I drank as much as I did for so long because I knew that I wasn't doing what God meant for me, but I didn't know what that was. So I'd drink - so that I didn't have to think about it. My Sobriety is God-given. Now, day twenty, I can't say that I know what I'm being called to do, but I do know that my path has been marked out. As long as I do my part, God will see to the rest.
As "bible-thumpery" as you might take this as, I believe that I was possessed by the Holy Spirit that night in Scott's apartment. Laugh all you will but it was an inhuman feat. I would never have gotten through what I did otherwise. My Belief allows me to acknowledge and accept that there is a higher calling awaiting me. Even though I don't have all (or even most) of the answers, I know that - as long as I have Faith and trust in Jesus - I have all I need.
So you asked me last night, "What is Heaven?" I know you like to debate, and the science-minded side of you wants to challenge and question, but someone with true Faith doesn't need to do those things, at least when it comes to what you believe.
I believe that Heaven is where we will find eternal peace and an end to all suffering. It's where we will reunite with those that have gone before us. Heaven is where we will meet Jesus face-to-face.
There is a Christian music song called 'I Can Only Imagine' by MercyMe which does as much justice as I can to sum up how I feel about Heaven. Give it a listen.
That song has always been a favorite of mine but it became even more meaningful the day after Scott's funeral. I was running errands before going to Ohio the next day and that song came on the radio. I started singing along as I always do and then I drove into a brick wall, metaphorically speaking.
It hit me that Scott is LIVING that song. He is in Heaven! It was the first time since his death, the first time in my life, actually, that I felt true, unadulterated Peace. A Peace like none I've ever felt before and a Peace that I haven't felt since. But it was enough for me to feel that true Peace, even just that one time. I can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that Scott is okay and I will see him again. That one moment of Peace beyond understanding has continued to sustain me.
My Faith and my belief in Heaven are the only things that get me through the day most days - the only things that make the pain bearable and less suffocating. My Faith allows me to breathe in-and-out every day and to know that, no matter what happens, Jesus is with me. If He can see me through losing half of myself, I believe that He will see me through everything else.
My Faith was tested with Scott's death. Many would hate God after something like that, lash out in anger, but I turned toward God, not away, and it was a blessing. It showed me that I have a conviction that I didn't know was there. Christians believe that our faithfulness on Earth will be rewarded in Heaven. I'm one of the lucky ones because my Faith has already been rewarded through the gift of a Hope that will not falter.
I listen to Christian music not for the arrangements or the style but for the calm that it brings me at times when I feel bereft beyond words. It gives me the encouragement I need to keep moving forward. I get what I call "Scott Signs," when I hear 'I Can Only Imagine' four times in one day - when I haven't heard it in a week - or, at that exact moment when I'm thinking of Scott and I'm overcome with grief, a song comes on that shows me he is with me.
Before, I would drink so that I didn't have to feel. Now that I'm sober; I don't have alcohol to make the pain go away so, I turn to Jesus. My Faith reminds me that there is a greater purpose to this life and that things happen for a reason. Scott died for a reason. If I didn't have Faith I don't know where I'd be right now. No sense can be made of Scott's death so I'm grateful beyond words that I have Faith in God to fall back on because I'd literally go insane without it.
I've always been a Christian, always had Faith, but for the first time in my life I'm actually RELYING on that Faith. I'm putting all my trust in that Faith. I actually understand what it means to be a follower of Christ. I don't need to challenge or question my Faith because it has given me Peace.
April 1st, my first day of sobriety, I was driving to the train, listening to KLOVE. There was a person on the radio who wanted to give his life to Christ and, with a prayer, turned his life over to God. I said the prayer, too, and it gave new meaning to "Let go, let God." I'm no longer plagued by Worry. I believe that I'm on the path to realizing my calling in life. I drank as much as I did for so long because I knew that I wasn't doing what God meant for me, but I didn't know what that was. So I'd drink - so that I didn't have to think about it. My Sobriety is God-given. Now, day twenty, I can't say that I know what I'm being called to do, but I do know that my path has been marked out. As long as I do my part, God will see to the rest.
As "bible-thumpery" as you might take this as, I believe that I was possessed by the Holy Spirit that night in Scott's apartment. Laugh all you will but it was an inhuman feat. I would never have gotten through what I did otherwise. My Belief allows me to acknowledge and accept that there is a higher calling awaiting me. Even though I don't have all (or even most) of the answers, I know that - as long as I have Faith and trust in Jesus - I have all I need.
~ Andrea
Dear Jim: Want to share a commentary - perhaps I should call it an "epistle" - that Andrea recently wrote to a friend. After I read it, my first reaction was "my daughter is a disciple" for He lives in us all, from generation to generation, and therefore His lifetime is without end - contrary to Webster's definition of a follower of Jesus Christ in HIS lifetime. Hope that you are well. We are was well as can be expected , and when taking Andrea's words to heart, that's pretty good. ~pat
Dear Pat: It was with delight that I read Andrea's "epistle" - so very well done. Yes, when we can get in touch with what is most real about us everything changes... and what is most real about us is that the presence of God lives within us!! But it so often gets covered over by our pride, selfishness, etc. It is like asking "is the sun shining?" on a cloudy day. We tend to say, "No," but just move the clouds and it is right there. Once we let go (as she put it) and move the clouds... the sun is right there... and so it IS with us. Andrea put it well, very well... and I am happy for her and for you. Thanks so much for sharing this delightful piece with me. This is your season... the season of resurrection! Give Andrea my best and thank her for writing this. In His Risen Peace... ~Fr. James Friedel, OSA
Dear Pat: It was with delight that I read Andrea's "epistle" - so very well done. Yes, when we can get in touch with what is most real about us everything changes... and what is most real about us is that the presence of God lives within us!! But it so often gets covered over by our pride, selfishness, etc. It is like asking "is the sun shining?" on a cloudy day. We tend to say, "No," but just move the clouds and it is right there. Once we let go (as she put it) and move the clouds... the sun is right there... and so it IS with us. Andrea put it well, very well... and I am happy for her and for you. Thanks so much for sharing this delightful piece with me. This is your season... the season of resurrection! Give Andrea my best and thank her for writing this. In His Risen Peace... ~Fr. James Friedel, OSA